Tim Morgan's Website

Christmas Letters

Christmas 2017

There is no other way to say it. We all agree that we want to say goodbye to 2017.

In reading last year's Christmas letter, I feel it was another lifetime, or someone else's life. We were hopeful, planning for our life in retirement. Terry was hopeful; he and Lauren had parted ways, but were co-parenting their kids, and planning for 2017. In fact, our family left on Christmas Day for a snow ski trip, and Terry was on the slopes with his kids and Amanda revived her snowboarding skills. Tim and I tried downhill, also cross-country after 15 years, with Martin and Kyra trying XC for the first time. We also found a great sledding hill.

We spent New Year's Day on our traditional hike at a local park with family and friends. It was an upbeat day. Terry was talking about his recent project at Medtronic - a stent he and his team had developed. He was also talking about plans for backpacking with Lily and Jackson, maybe another snow trip, some family camping. He forgot a jacket for Lily on that sunny but blustery day, but Jocelyn had thought to herself, "I'd better pack extra jackets today. I need to take care of Terry's kids."

Many of you know that Terry died suddenly and unexpectedly on January 4, 2017. It changed our family's world. Heartbroken and devastated, and in shock, we immediately, as I say, went to battle stations, each taking on tasks, which seem endless, still. Terry's friends and coworkers helped us move his effects out of the house where he, Lauren and the kids had spent several years together. We assured Lauren we would be there for her and the kids. We feel closer to her now than ever before. While we had briefly met some of Terry's friends at Medtronic, we got to know them better through this ordeal. We also learned much more about him. We knew generally about his work, and that he had some devices patented, but from his co-workers, we heard words like "brilliant", "THE go-to person" and "the device he developed will save thousands of lives."

While he will be missed at work, and by all of us, my heart aches the most for Lily and Jackson. They miss their dad so much. Lauren and her partner Jordan are doing what they can to make new memories for the kids, and although there have been and will be some rough moments, it seems they are on their way to healing. We all have been helping with afterschool pick-ups, taking them to activities, hugs, giving them space to talk, and lots of cousin time with Kyra and Odin. In some ways, Terry didn't like to be the center of attention. But we knew we didn't want his passing to go without recognition. With the help and contribution of so many people, we held a celebration of life on March 4, 2017, with music, speeches, memories, food, drink and friends - his ultimate party. We are so grateful to the people who have contributed time, memories, and talents, and those who call just to talk. No one can fix this, but it helps knowing people are there. There are so many events and coincidences - too many for here - that happened because of his death that brought us closer as a family and to others. I have not started writing about them yet, but will. Terry's on-line obituary is at adobecreekfuneralhome.com.

During all the turmoil, moving stuff, and a family bronchitis that lasted for weeks, Tim and Martin attended the Goju-Kai promotional in February. Tim achieved something he's dreamed of for 40 years - the rank of 1st degree black belt. He should be very proud of this personal achievement, and all the hard work he put into it, especially under the circumstances.

In March, Tim and I left for a previously planned trip to Loreto, Baja California, to go on a kayaking camping trip. Suddenly transported to another world after two harrowing months, we had a chance to be in a completely peaceful environment, making new friends in our small group, seeing spectacular sunsets, snorkeling in the same waters where my parents had for so many years, and hearing whales breathing in the predawn hours. In fact, we saw quite a few different types of whales, as well as schools of dolphins. I released a small amount of Terry's and my parents' ashes while snorkeling, watching them sparkle in the sunlit water.

In March, we learned that our friends from Brazil, Moacir and Leisa, were planning a trip to Spain in May. Still in shock, we figured our travel plans were on hold for '17, but we thought, "Let's go!" So, in a few weeks' time, planning a 3-week itinerary via email and Skype, we were off! We visited the major museums in Madrid, then on to Toledo, Cordoba, the Alhambra and Granada, swam in the Mediterranean and had our fill of Gaudi and Dali in Barcelona. Most of our days we conversed back and forth in Portuguese, English, Spanish - and even had to read Catalan! Moa had the taxi drivers completely confused as he would start talking in whatever accent and language he felt at that moment; they really didn't know where we were from! Meals together and long conversations were the best part, as well as seeing the sights. We would love to spend a week in each place we visited.

In June we attended the wedding campout of our great nephew Ryan and his wife Amber, at the family's beautiful property in northern California. All wedding celebrations should last a whole weekend! Even Kyra had fun hobbling around on a broken foot at the hilly campsite!

In July our family camped at Camp Richardson, on Lake Tahoe, just relaxing on the beach and watching the kids jump off the pier for hours. At every event, we're conscious of it as a memory maker, a step forward, and keenly aware of Terry's absence. One day, we hiked to the top of a falls. Kyra, being 14, thought she would be cool and hike in flip flops. She lost one, and hiking barefoot on hot granite trail wasn't an option. Part McGyver-ing, and part wilderness medical skills, I got out my malleable Sam Splint, bent it into an "L", wrapped her foot in an Ace bandage, and duct taped the splint to her foot. Voila! A boot! She made it back (2 miles) and the park docent at the trail head was impressed. We are grateful for more family fun with birthday parties, dinners, hikes and an Oakland As game. It warms my heart to know that my kids are keeping THEIR "family dinner" tradition alive.

In August, Tim and I went to Silver Lake in the Sierra Nevada, with the Petaluma Paddlers, where we spent a few days paddling, hiking and eating in the company of friends. Soon after, Tim embarked on an exciting 20-day trip with The Giving Lens to northern Tanzania. He worked with a local NGO at a local elementary school to teach photography skills, stayed a day and a night with a Maasai tribe, and shot some spectacular wildlife photos on the Serengeti. It is an experience he will always remember. In September we met with other members of "The Playtime Exchange," our babysitting coop, for a reunion at the park where we used to meet. Our babies who attended, now 40ish, brought their kids, and it was fun to see them all together. This was another positive event that came out of the tragedy of Terry's death.

I've been keeping busy with yoga, playing music, hikes with friends, and a few outings here and there, and am grateful for the distraction and company of others. I also joined a hospice grief group for a few weeks, although our sessions were cut short by the devastating fires in Sonoma County.

In September we spent a wonderful afternoon in San Francisco, seeing the Glinskys, who were our neighbors in Maryland. It was great catching up after 30 years!

Late on October 8th, I saw my friend's Facebook post, about evacuating horses from an area between Calistoga and Santa Rosa, but thought, as many, the fire was somewhat isolated and far from urban Santa Rosa. We were all uneasy about the fierce, dry winds, and there is always fire danger in California in October. At 2 am, Jocelyn called us, saying, "The fire is 1½ blocks from our house - we're on our way to your house." It didn't make sense - her house is in the northwestern part of town. We soon learned that the raging firestorm was racing across Santa Rosa - and many other parts of three counties. For those of you out of the area: the news reports were not exaggerated. People were literally running ahead of the fire with only the clothes on their backs. The fires currently burning in southern California are just as devastating, if not worse. We temporarily sheltered 15-20 people, and a few pets, but our area was spared, although a fire came within about two miles of us. Vista Family Health Center, where I had worked, is still standing, but out of commission for a year, with the 20,000 patients redirected to other clinics. An indirect emotional effect the fire had on our family was that the hilly area outside Santa Rosa where Terry and Lauren had lived was burned, so with their former house and many memories now gone, another chapter was closed.

We celebrated Thanksgiving first with a Sunday outdoor feast on the beach with our paddling friends, then a delicious Tuesday night dinner, hosted by Lauren and J, and the final T-Day at the Dave Jensen's. His dad, our brother-in-law, Irv, passed away on October 30th from Alzheimer's. He was an energetic, humorous and loving guy, and we'll miss him. The day was very emotional for all of us, but very healing with friends - canine and human - good food and memories. We recently enjoyed two trips to central California: First to Pinnacles NP (our old rock climbing hangout) and Santa Cruz, then on a paddling trip to Monterey. With a spectacular super moon, clear skies, king tides and high surf, it was a great weekend with friends.

Lauren has met extraordinary challenges in this very tough year, of not only being a single mom, but grieving along with her children. But she's had a lot of support and some good times with her partner J, and Lily and Jackson have had some fun times with their Nana and Grandpa in Oregon, and with Grandma Ruby from Washington, even going to a Yogi bear campground this past summer!

Jackson is continuing with Kenpo karate, which he started shortly after Terry died, and played soccer this fall. Lily is doing well with horseback riding lessons, and seems to have a knack for poetry. They are both doing really well in school. Jackson especially has blossomed this year with reading, and as always, loves sports. They like to get together with playmates and their cousins, and spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa, too.

Jocelyn and Martin are working hard but have had time for travel also. They purchased an RV just before the fire, and hope to do lots of traveling as things settle down. This past year, they made a trip to Mt. Shasta and southern California, visiting Legoland and the San Diego zoo. Early in the year, as the Oroville Dam threatened to fail during torrential rains, Jocelyn helped to evacuate nursing home residents to a safer area. She also was promoted to assistant director of nurses and MDS coordinator at her work, and was employee of the quarter. We're proud of her and all she does for her patients. Kyra is blossoming into a full grown teenager! She is working hard at her studies as a homeschooled freshman, roller skates frequently, plays Jiu Jitsu and is active at a local teen center. Odin is going on five - he loves monster trucks, and is starting to read. Martin continues to progress in Goju-Kai karate, earning his green belt at promotional in February. Amanda had planned to go to Washington DC on January 20 with friends for the March on Washington. With Terry's death, it took on additional meaning: She went to nearby Germantown, and scattered some of his ashes at our former house, and near the creek where the kids used to play. Travel continues to be one of her loves. She has returned to Palm Springs to visit friends, made a quick but spectacular trip to the Grand Canyon, and with her photography friends, a long awaited trip to Iceland in October. She also joined roller derby in May and loves it! It's proven to be very therapeutic, if not a little bruising! Amanda moved back home in October, with Bucky, a Chihuahua mix, and soon after adopted Petunia, a Dachshund mix. Petunia is a little shy but settling in.

We are so grateful for friends and family who have supported us this year, and we are also aware of the thousands who lost their homes and jobs due to the fires, and hurricanes in other parts of the country and our hearts go out to them. To paraphrase Amanda, from her tribute to her brother: Make something, whether it's building a garage or knitting, or making cheese. Teach kids. Do science and art. Take them outside. And of course, hold your loved ones close.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2018.

Tim and Sharon Morgan and Family

 
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