Hormone Hostage | The Rules of Combat! | USAF "Squawks" | Blond Jokes | Men and Women | Holiday Eating Tips | SQUARE | Engineers! | Short Jokes | Not Easy Being Republican | Is this you? | Long Letters to Bush | Women on Men | Men on Women | Shortest Short Story | Web Design Time Breakdown | Bill Gates to HS Seniors | WalMart | An Important Comparison | Pharmacology 101 | Great Bumper Stickers | Only in America, etc. | Only in Britain | How to clean your toilet | How you know you've had a bad day | Why? Why? Why | Headlines from 2035 | George Carlin on 9-11 | Capitalism
Psychic Wins Lottery?
abbreviatedsuch a long word?
practice?
Start
[Top]
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Do not turn upside down.
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
(as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
(talk about a news flash)
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
[Top]